Sun and Darkness

It’s a Wonderful New Woman’s World (mp3s)

1. Overture (2:59)2. It’s a Wonderful New Woman’s World (2:13)3. Sing Along Instrumental (2:08)4. Children’s Vocal (2:14)5. Rock Instrumental (1:32)6. International (5:57)7. It’s a Wonderful New Bestline World (2:14)8. How to Book a Bestline Party (7:30)

Ladies, it’s 1970. Everyone’s telling you that staying at home to raise a family makes you a square. You’d like the extra money, but hubby wants his dinner on the table and the kids need help with homework. How can you possibly have the best of both worlds?

Home sales, of course. And if you thought that Tupperware, Avon and Amway were your only choices, you haven’t heard of Bestline. Not only will you be selling some of the best cleaning products on the market, but they’re all biodegradable, putting you ahead of the green movement by about three decades.

All of this pales, however, to the most incredible gift that any working saleswoman could ever hope to receive…

…the Baconizer! Sure it’s the size of a PlayStation 3 and an obvious fire hazard, but this miracle appliance makes plate after plate of tasty bacon without all that messing around with stoves and pans. Bacon in bed? Put one on your nightstand for those late-night bacon cravings. These ladies agree that Bestline is the most incredible thing that ever happened to them. (Sorry to say that the small image size makes it impossible to see the empty wine glass sitting next to the woman in the kitchen).

Dunkin donuts rachael ray

Bestline, and its line of biodegradable cleaning products, are lost to the cruel fates of capitalism, but this album gives us a glimpse at home-business marketing in the days when increasing numbers of women were abandoning the traditional stay-at-home Mom role in favor of building their own careers. What sets this one apart is its obvious pandering to the conflicting emotions some women felt. It’s steeped in the Queen imagery of the 1950s and dripping with “you can have it all” messages. To quote from “It’s a Wonderful New Woman’s World,”

Here is a world where you can reign like a queenReign with the knowledge that you do what others dreamYou’ll win new friends and satisfaction tooIt’s a new world fashioned just for you

Side one gives us an assortment of musical motivation. Once you learn the lyrics to “It’s a Wonderful New Woman’s World,” you’re ready to take on the “Sing Along Version.” The “Children’s Vocal” deserves special mention, in part because it sounds like the kids were dragged out of bed at 3 AM to sing it, and because it’s guaranteed to clear a room if you’ve got stragglers at your next party.

“How to Book a Bestline Party” introduces you to Sue Miller and her wonderful experiences as a Bestline Cameo Girl. Don’t forget, gals, that recruiting more salespeople is just as important as selling your products in the world of multilevel marketing. Once you’ve got a Baconizer for every room in your home, you’ll need that percentage you earn from your recruits to keep things interesting.

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